I know, I've been gone awhile. I'm like that nerdy-cute guy on Match.com who messaged you something kinda charming, like how much he loves fall and pumpkin spice lattes (omg you do too?!), then dropped off the face of the planet for a few months. I get it. I'm THAT guy.
And because I'm THAT guy, I have to say...stuff came up. I'm here now (taking valuable time away from reading Double Down and rewatching Rock of Love 2 on Hulu might I add) because there are important things to talk about...namely, the clusterfuck that was Sound of Music Live! (don't forget the Live!) on NBC, which now that Christmastime has passed, I have viewed no fewer than three times (a fact that I should perhaps be more ashamed of than I am).
I also really love The Sound of Music. Saccharine as it may be, it's a part of my childhood. It taught me about music theory (thanks Rodgers and Hammerstein!) and is responsible for the notion that dancing and kissing in a gazebo while it rains is the height of romance (sorry, every boyfriend I've ever had. Even though Rolf was a Nazi, he gets major points for that one). Plus, there fact that Oscar Hammerstein wrote something as stunningly hopeful as "Edelweiss" while dying is too romantic of a story to ignore.
And finally, for whatever reason, I want to support NBC programming. I draw the line at Sean Saves the World but in general, I like to rally behind their shows as I remember the olden days of Must See TV Thursdays and genuinely want to see them succeed.
All that said, this SOM broadcast was an E-VENT for me and once I got my "How do you solve a problem like Maria...'s casting" Carrie Underwood jabs out of my system prior to it starting, I was really willing to give it a chance.
...and then, of course, it started. What's a girl to do when the leading lady lacks complete emotional depth, the nuns are the best part (don't get me wrong, I love nuns, but this isn't Sister Act), and you find yourself wondering why Vampire Bill doesn't reconsider going for that pretty Baroness who may be a Nazi rather than the nanny who looks like she's playing dress up in an adult version of Kirsten, the American Doll's wardrobe.
Some highlights and lowlights:
1.) The aforementioned Kirstenesque dirndls
Really, guys. This resemblance is uncanny. I know dirndls are hard to get right. And I certainly appreciate that we didn't go into beer garden Halloween costume territory here but it's a little hard to see Maria as a woman caught in the middle of a romance when she's infantilized like this.
2.) Liesl looks like Lourdes. But I'm going to count this as a high. I dig it.3.) Kelly, can you handle this? Michelle, can you handle this? I don't think I can handle this. Your body's too bootylicious for me, Rolf. Feel free to categorize this as a high or a low. As you wish, friends.
4.) Audra McDonald is a goddess and the flyest nun since Deloris from Sister Act and her brief time in SOM Live made me easily forgive her for being in Private Practice. See those tears Carrie is crying? Those are tears of acknowledgement as she realizes she's being upstaged. I must give Carrie brief props because this scene was pretty much the one time in the entire telecast where she didn't appear wooden or completely confused by Maria's motivations in a scene. So, congrats, Carrie, you may not have climbed ev'ry mountain but you climbed this one.
5.) Benanti and Borle. I know I'm one of like, 7 people, who actually stayed with Smash through the end (I'll never forget you, Smash) and thus, that gives me some weird emotional connection to Christian Borle but Borle and Laura Benanti rocked it in this. While Vampire Bill was busy trying to decide what accent he wanted to use in every scene, these two were off killin it Baroness and Uncle Max style. NBC, I would say that you should just give Benanti and Borle their own spinoff but since you seem to like to cancel every show they appear in, that's unlikely...but still, I'd totally watch that.
6.) The wedding scene. Did we spend all of our costume budget on dirndl fabric and then realize at the last minute that we needed to make a wedding dress? What happened here?
7.) But to bring it back full circle...the outfit does sorta play into my Kirsten argument.
Lemon Out,
