How I Met Your Mother's finale was this past Monday; I've had countless people email, text, direct message, and smoke signal me for my thoughts and honestly, I thought it was better--and quite frankly easier--for me to process and share this way. I know this blog was originally designed for shorter, quirkier pieces but screw it, it's my blog and I'll write what I want to (and if you are reading that to the tune of "It's My Party, I Can Cry if I Want To," congrats; you're absolutely winning at life).
How I Met Your Mother has been a pretty big part of my life the last 9 years. Some people gravitate towards shows that represent something glamorous, or sinister, or something far removed from their own everyday life (unless, of course your everyday life is chock-full of seducing and impeaching presidents or suckling young dragons). I've never quite been like that; I've always loved the characters that felt familiar; I recognized Liz Lemon's awkwardness, Leslie Knope's ambition, and yes, as someone who's often looked out for signs from the universe about a greater plan at play, I immediately connected with Ted's sentimentalism, his romanticism, and his belief in destiny (and clearly, based on the length of this post, his inability to be succinct pretty much...ever).
I approached this past Monday's finale with a lot of excitement, coupled with even more trepidation and that morning when my mom texted me, "I hope they're kind to Ted," I knew what she meant. Ted's a stand-in for a lot of us; he makes mistakes (see: red cowboy boots and everything pertaining to Zoey), he shows up for his friends, and most importantly, he has the audacity to believe in soulmates, even when so many things are knocking him down. We live in a culture rife with casual hookups and cynicism but deep down, I think there are a lot of us that would like to believe in the life affirming prospect of true love and Ted does so openly. It's honorable--and admirable--to operate with that much hope because sometimes, when the cards are down and your heart is broken, that's all you really have--a belief that somehow this is all part of the plan and that happy endings are, in fact, possible. You wanted good things to happen for Ted and for him to finally get his happy ending after all he endured because you wanted the same thing for yourself. You wanted to believe in the power and promise of the yellow umbrella.
Besides its significant romantic tone,
HIMYM had a lot to say about the power of friendship and platonic love, how it shifts and changes its form but can still remain strong. Certainly, some friends are only meant to be in your life "for a season or two" but some aren't; some friendships are built to last and while they may change their shape or give you different things than they once did, they can still be a substantial force in your life. Growing up does not always have to equal growing apart and some people fit into your life just as well sitting next to you in a bar as they do sitting next to you at Thanksgiving dinner. The show spoke to the power of transformation--how our goals, priorities, and desires can change and even moreso, how our inner cores can. We saw that happen with Barney and Robin, as they both grew more into themselves and consequently, grew closer together. Sometimes, the best things in life come from us reaching out and holding on to them, while others come simply when we get out of our own way.
Which brings me to Monday.
For me, the finale got it wrong. So wrong. And not because they spent a small fortune on outfitting Cobie Smulders in the worst wigs possible. Not because they didn't solve the mystery of the pineapple. Not even because the Mother died at the end. But because its hour essentially dismantled the very foundation HIMYM has built over the years. For a show centered so much on love, optimism, and personal growth, it felt thoroughly devoid of most of those things. After spending an entire season on their wedding weekend--and seasons beyond that watching Barney and Robin slowly get themselves to a place where they were ready to accept the love the other had to offer--they broke up minutes into the finale, their relationship mere collateral damage, a victim of Robin's steel like focus on her career and Barney's selfishness. Wait...didn't we deal with this shit already? And did the conclusion of their relationship really just boil down to a final drunken romp? That was legen-wait for it--nope. That was ridiculous. Then the show rubbed salt in our wounds as we saw both characters regress, Robin once again establishing emotional distance from the people around her, diminishing the complexity we've seen from her over the years and Barney, drowning himself in booze, his fingers practically blistering from filling up the pages of Playbook II. What--can love not truly be transformative? Is the only true redemptive love that which comes from a child? (And what a cruel irony that a child--the one thing Robin could never give him--is the thing that brought Barney back to life).
We saw the gang break apart--fractured by breakups, distanced by time and responsibilities. But more infuriating was the way we handled the Mother-Ted-Robin storyline, concluding a 9 year saga of blue French horns and yellow umbrellas with what felt like a misguided, disrespectful end. Several weeks ago, I commented to someone that I would fall apart if the Mother died and burn New York to the ground (in case you haven't noticed, when I'm not being really saccharine, I can get a little overdramatic; worst case scenario is when I am dramatically saccharine). By the time the show aired, I'd actually come to terms with this potential ending. What I find completely devastating though is Ted's return to Robin, a woman who consistently
didn't choose him and only wanted him when she couldn't have him, and worse still was the revelation that this entire story was an ode to Robin, as Ted considered pursuing her again after the Mother's death. It undermined what we saw Tracy and Ted have, making her seem like a second choice instead of
the choice and felt overwhelmingly pedantic to fans of the show who bemoaned that Aunt Robin could never be the Mother.
The choice to reunite Ted and Robin at the end felt misguided and tone deaf; thematically, it provided a nice parallel to a similar scene earlier in the show but the romance for me no longer rang true. Carter and Craig planned this ending years ago but guess what? The show transformed after that. Robin and Barney were developed in a way where they made more sense than Ted and Robin ever did and the chemistry Ted and Tracy shared was stronger than anything we've seen from the other core couples (yes, even Lilypad and Marshmallow). It felt like Ted was going backwards. Plus...really? What teen is talking to her dad about him having the hots for her aunt? That's weird. And what about the power of the yellow umbrella? Are we really back at this french horn shit again?
I've heard argument after argument: "Carter and Craig made it real, life has unexpected twists and turns, happiness is transitory, lots of people die and divorce, life doesn't turn out how we plan, people grow apart." I get it. Believe me, I do. I watched my mom lose the love of her life when she was not much younger than Ted; I've had my own hopes dashed time and time again. I don't need more evidence or reminders that life is messy and can disappoint us. Quite frankly, I've seen enough of that. I need to believe that sometimes happy endings do exist, that some love is so great that it's as if the entire universe conspired to bring two people together. That there's a big point to all the confusion and pain we endure to get to where we finally need to be. That sometimes, love just wins, simple as that.
HIMYM, you let me down. I wanted better for Ted. I want better for myself.
Admittedly, Monday night and Tuesday morning, I was pretty close to burning New York to the ground (okay, not really, but I did cry a lot on a train and feverishly type text messages to my best friend that followed the lines of "Where's my Ted?" and "I'm dying inside. Ted Mosby is a jerk"). A few days out, I'm not quite there anymore. I still feel disappointed and betrayed and I still prefer to remember Tracy and Ted meeting, falling in love, and living happily ever after. End of story. End scene.
For now though, all of you who felt similar things about the finale, who saw themselves in Ted or Tracy or Barney or Robin and were disappointed by how it shook out, let's make an agreement. Let's take a page from HIMYM but rewrite a better ending for ourselves. Let's right the wrongs we saw. Let's avoid slipping back into old habits when things don't work out like Barney did; let's follow our heart and never second guess our decisions like Robin; let's fight like hell for our front porch future, like Lily. And finally and most importantly, let's still believe in the power and magic of the yellow umbrella--that our soulmate, the person who will press reset on our life, is just around the corner and waiting for us to be ready for them, and that we can get our full, complete happy ending.
What do you say, friends--challenge accepted?
Broad: Hillary Clinton
Broad: Brene Brown
