-The girl pumping up her friend while catching up at Magnolia Bakery. I quote: "Girl, it sounds like you just need to dance it out. JUST. DANCE. IT. OUT." I hope you both got to dance it out together.
-The guy on 8th Avenue who "[didn't] care if he got lucky that night. [He] just wanted to get a little drunk and eat some fried chicken." Thanks for the honesty, dude. I'm glad you're so clear on your intentions.
-The girl outside Shake Shack with her friend, who appeared to quietly listen to her friend as she recounted a recent fight with her boyfriend, but when her friend paused to ask her her opinion on the situation drolly said, "Sorry, I got bored by your story and was trying to decide if I wanted cheese fries or a malt." I think a lot of us have been there...but you actually admitted it.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Broads I'd Like to Have a Drink With: Fictional Edition
As a follow up to my last post, I wanted to talk through some of my favorite fictional women with whom I'd love to grab a drink. The choices here were difficult but I've narrowed it down to a few of my favorite broads. Who's making your invite list?
Broad: Leslie Knope
Drink of Choice: Definitely NOT Snakejuice. Probably the most reasonably priced pinot noir on the menu. Leslie doesn't need it to be fancy and neither do I. We probably shouldn't overdo it, since neither of us really handles our alcohol well.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Leslie and I share a lot in common--an appreciation for Eleanor Roosevelt and mac and cheese pizza, an incredible love for planning, binders, and made up festive holidays, and a deep (and sometimes overwhelming) investment in our friends. Despite roadblocks and disappointments, she continues to see the world as brimming with possibility and always fights the good fight. Plus, this is a woman who carries emergency s'more rations in her car. That's a woman you wanna hang with, so sign me up for a night of drinking and working on our dream boards.
Broad: C.J. Craig
Drink of Choice: a Grasshopper
Why She Snagged an Invite: C.J., White House Press Secretary and Chief of Staff extraordinaire, plays to win and with her sharp brain (have you heard her arguments against gun control?) and superb wit that's both high and low brow, she's the perfect happy hour (or really any hour) companion. Additionally, while we're both highly capable and strong in our professional lives, we fumble through our personal ones whether it's dealing with our families or the men in our lives, and it'd be nice to swap notes.
Broad: Liz Lemon
Drink of Choice: Her signature drink "Funky Juice"--white wine, ice cubes, and Sprite, which to be honest, doesn't sound all that bad.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Liz, super hero and role model to girl nerds everywhere, is right up my ally in terms of her approach to nightlife.
We'd go to a bar and talk about Star Wars, our crazy coworkers, and Oprah, complain about the youths surrounding us, order some mozzarella sticks and be home at a reasonable hour to work on our night cheese and watch a Designing Women rerun. Done. WINNING (or Lizzing) on all fronts.
Broad: Kathleen Kelly
Drink of Choice: A cappuccino, preferably from Cafe Lalo.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Kathleen loves reading and there, in my opinion, are few better ways to spend a few hours than talking about the books that meant the most to us growing up. I imagine we'd compare the different Pride and Prejudice movies and retire back to one of our Upper West Side apartments afterwards to craft homemade bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils.
Broad: Hermione Granger
Drink of choice: Butterbeer, duh.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Almost everywhere she goes, Hermione is the smartest one in the room and there are few things she can't do if she puts her mind to it (besides being quiet that is). She's a woman who's prepared for almost anything that comes across her path (remember that damn handbag in Hallows?) and furthermore, she's deeply compassionate. I'm sure she'd get filled with righteous indignation and give me a lecture at some point but honestly, I'd probably deserve it.
Broads: Veronica Mars and Olivia Benson
Drink of choice: a nice IPA
Why They Snagged Invites: I like smart, strong, principled women with a bit of an edge to them. And with these two next to me at the bar, I sure as hell won't get hassled. And hell, if we're feeling fancy, maybe we'll have Jessica Fletcher join us too--just a trio of mystery solving ladies.
Broad: Megan from Bridesmaids
Drink of Choice: Some shots of Fireball. Or let's be honest, many shots of Fireball.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Megan's the best character in Bridesmaids hands down. She lives a bullshit free life and makes no apologies for herself. She's a woman who loves herself and her life and has no qualms about telling you when you need to get your act together and "fight for your shitty life." I've probably needed that advice more times than I can count and I'd be excited to spend a raucous evening with someone like that...and maybe if I get her drunk enough, she'll tell me where all the nukes are.
Broad: Peggy Olson
Drink of choice: a stiff Manhattan
Why She Snagged an Invite: She's disciplined, she's intelligent, and hell, she "leaned in" decades before that shit was even a thing. I'd like to hole up with her for awhile and learn her secrets.
Broad: Martha Jones
Drink of Choice: pint of Guinness
Why She Snagged an Invite: I like to surround myself with people I deeply respect and Martha fits this bill perfectly. Martha is probably one of the less popular companions in the Doctor Who fandom but I think she's significantly underrated. Prior to meeting the Doctor, she has a full life, complete with a successful career and a strong relationship with her family, one that she happily returns to when she decides that her travels with the Doctor are over. She saves him--more than one mind you--and takes initiative to get them out of scrapes, rather than waiting for him to call the shots. And finally, when the Doctor doesn't return her romantic feelings, she doesn't think any less of herself, and peacefully leaves, moving on to another phase of her life. She's defined the least as a person by the Doctor (particularly when we compare her to any other companion he's ever had) and I respect that she's a woman who can take care of herself and create a life that will fulfill her. Teach me your ways, Martha!
Drink of Choice: Definitely NOT Snakejuice. Probably the most reasonably priced pinot noir on the menu. Leslie doesn't need it to be fancy and neither do I. We probably shouldn't overdo it, since neither of us really handles our alcohol well.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Leslie and I share a lot in common--an appreciation for Eleanor Roosevelt and mac and cheese pizza, an incredible love for planning, binders, and made up festive holidays, and a deep (and sometimes overwhelming) investment in our friends. Despite roadblocks and disappointments, she continues to see the world as brimming with possibility and always fights the good fight. Plus, this is a woman who carries emergency s'more rations in her car. That's a woman you wanna hang with, so sign me up for a night of drinking and working on our dream boards.
Broad: C.J. Craig
Drink of Choice: a Grasshopper
Why She Snagged an Invite: C.J., White House Press Secretary and Chief of Staff extraordinaire, plays to win and with her sharp brain (have you heard her arguments against gun control?) and superb wit that's both high and low brow, she's the perfect happy hour (or really any hour) companion. Additionally, while we're both highly capable and strong in our professional lives, we fumble through our personal ones whether it's dealing with our families or the men in our lives, and it'd be nice to swap notes.
Broad: Liz Lemon
Drink of Choice: Her signature drink "Funky Juice"--white wine, ice cubes, and Sprite, which to be honest, doesn't sound all that bad.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Liz, super hero and role model to girl nerds everywhere, is right up my ally in terms of her approach to nightlife.
We'd go to a bar and talk about Star Wars, our crazy coworkers, and Oprah, complain about the youths surrounding us, order some mozzarella sticks and be home at a reasonable hour to work on our night cheese and watch a Designing Women rerun. Done. WINNING (or Lizzing) on all fronts.
Broad: Kathleen Kelly
Drink of Choice: A cappuccino, preferably from Cafe Lalo.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Kathleen loves reading and there, in my opinion, are few better ways to spend a few hours than talking about the books that meant the most to us growing up. I imagine we'd compare the different Pride and Prejudice movies and retire back to one of our Upper West Side apartments afterwards to craft homemade bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils.
Broad: Hermione Granger
Drink of choice: Butterbeer, duh.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Almost everywhere she goes, Hermione is the smartest one in the room and there are few things she can't do if she puts her mind to it (besides being quiet that is). She's a woman who's prepared for almost anything that comes across her path (remember that damn handbag in Hallows?) and furthermore, she's deeply compassionate. I'm sure she'd get filled with righteous indignation and give me a lecture at some point but honestly, I'd probably deserve it.
Broads: Veronica Mars and Olivia Benson
Drink of choice: a nice IPA
Why They Snagged Invites: I like smart, strong, principled women with a bit of an edge to them. And with these two next to me at the bar, I sure as hell won't get hassled. And hell, if we're feeling fancy, maybe we'll have Jessica Fletcher join us too--just a trio of mystery solving ladies.
Drink of Choice: Some shots of Fireball. Or let's be honest, many shots of Fireball.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Megan's the best character in Bridesmaids hands down. She lives a bullshit free life and makes no apologies for herself. She's a woman who loves herself and her life and has no qualms about telling you when you need to get your act together and "fight for your shitty life." I've probably needed that advice more times than I can count and I'd be excited to spend a raucous evening with someone like that...and maybe if I get her drunk enough, she'll tell me where all the nukes are.
Broad: Peggy Olson
Drink of choice: a stiff Manhattan
Why She Snagged an Invite: She's disciplined, she's intelligent, and hell, she "leaned in" decades before that shit was even a thing. I'd like to hole up with her for awhile and learn her secrets.
Drink of Choice: pint of Guinness
Why She Snagged an Invite: I like to surround myself with people I deeply respect and Martha fits this bill perfectly. Martha is probably one of the less popular companions in the Doctor Who fandom but I think she's significantly underrated. Prior to meeting the Doctor, she has a full life, complete with a successful career and a strong relationship with her family, one that she happily returns to when she decides that her travels with the Doctor are over. She saves him--more than one mind you--and takes initiative to get them out of scrapes, rather than waiting for him to call the shots. And finally, when the Doctor doesn't return her romantic feelings, she doesn't think any less of herself, and peacefully leaves, moving on to another phase of her life. She's defined the least as a person by the Doctor (particularly when we compare her to any other companion he's ever had) and I respect that she's a woman who can take care of herself and create a life that will fulfill her. Teach me your ways, Martha!
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