1. That there are more seasons of Teen Mom 2 than there are of Happy Endings, Freaks and Geeks, Sports Night, Pushing Daisies, and Veronica Mars is a great tragedy.
2. I am incapable of eating just a few Pringles. Once you pop, the fun don't stop. Ditto Oreos. Or candy corn. Or Ruffles.
3. That craft that I saved to my Pinterest board? 75% chance I won't actually follow through and do it. However, there is a 90% chance that if I do, it will look absolutely NOTHING like the photo.
4. Beyonce didn't wake up like dis. So it's okay that you don't either.
5. Telling your friends "omg, my phone was on silent" on Friday night, when in reality you ignored it while you ate a cookie cake by yourself and watched Netflix is a totally valid life choice. Them Breaking Bad episodes aren't going to watch themselves, girl.
6. People who don't like golden retrievers are not to be trusted. Back away. Back sloooooooowly away. And ideally, go find a golden retriever to hug.
7. Watching a lot of crime procedurals will come in handy one day, I swear. Every day, we're just seconds away from livin a real life Clue. I am ready.
8. People may look at you oddly when you say "ella-ella--ella-ay-ay-ay" whenever they mention an umbrella. You should do this anyway because it is awesome.
9. Continuing to repeat "pageants aren't about beauty; they are scholarship programs!" is about as quaint and cute as my repeating "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice" over and over again. Both phrases are meaningless.
10. Nicholas Sparks films are all secretly the same. Pretty people with symmetrical faces+North Carolina+Tragedy+Kissing in the rain=Love. And you know what, I will pay full price for that nomsense EVERY. TIME.
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