Applause For...

-The poor guy who thought I was winking/flirting with him this morning.  Sorry, dude, it's 5am and my contact got folded up in my eye. The only thing I'm trying to proposition is a bagel.  Plus, you're wearing a Looney Tunes shirt with the Tazmanian Devil on it, and I've always been more of a Marvin girl.

-LaGuardia Airport, who decided that blasting Phil Collins at the buttcrack of dawn was exactly what we needed to get this day off to the right start.

-Nikki Reed, for reminding me that Us Magazine is wrong.  Stars are not just like us.  Because I definitely did not look as good as she did this morning at the airport (Exhibit A: cream cheese in my hair from aforementioned bagel).

I'm Lovin It: Things I'm Digging This Week V. 9

Bonjour!  Bienvenue!  I just noticed that I'm getting a big spike in readers from France, so dear Frenchmen, I have no clue what's led you here, but welcome!  Stay awhile and make yourself comfortable.

Back to business.  When I was younger, my aunt had a dog named Tara.  Tara would sometimes break into her dog food stash and eat and eat...and eat and eat and eat.  Then, completely engorged and full, she'd crawl under my aunt's bed and cry to herself, completely having a pity party.  Today, fresh off the heels of two massive meals with folks I love, I kinda wanna do the same.  If I could figure out how to fit under my bed and cry, I totally would but for now, I'll have to settle for groaning away, looking up at my ceiling.  There's gotta be a word for this.  I feel like that girl in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory who they have to roll away.  All of that to say, I'm a little distracted (and honestly, a little drunk right now) but here are my top picks of the week:

• So, I think we've established by this point that I love me some Aaron Sorkin.  The only thing I like more than Aaron Sorkin is an Aaron Sorkin parody and Seth Meyers' this past week was top notch (though honestly, Seth, from me to you, why is the rest of your show not this funny? SHAME SHAME SHAME).  I've basically sent this to all the people I know who love The West Wing already, so some of you may have already seen this but damn, it's worth sharing out far and wide.
• I loved the story of Patrick, a deaf teen in Uganda.  For fifteen years, Patrick has not been able to communicate with his family, members of the community, other than through very rudimentary gestures because sign language isn't available/taught in his home.  This video shows footage of Patrick's very first sign language class, after a sign language teacher finally comes to his community in Africa.  I dare you to watch it without tearing up just a little.
• I kinda wish I could make this my ringtone.
• So a total confession about me: I LOVE messing with Siri on my phone.  It is by far one of the dorkiest, lamest things about me (which says plenty, just trust), but sometimes I will literally sit for 30 minutes just messing with her, asking her to be my friend, questioning whether she's Her, trying to do knock knock jokes with her, etc.  So Siri related humor is already up my alley.  Add Taylor Swift to that (yes, I know, I'm giving her another shout out here) and I'm all over it.
• These windshield wipers are the only reason I think I'd ever want to drive a car again.
• Haley Morris-Cafiero's art is so important--and pretty biting at that. Haley's angle: capturing and criticizing our society's way of interacting with and commenting on overweight/obese individuals.  Morris-Cafiero basically sets up cameras in public spaces to capture the looks that people give her regarding her size.  The results are pretty damning, really sad, and should make us all think twice about how we respond to people who are overweight.
• I think we all need just a small dose of panda triplets in our lives.
• My friend Sita has slowly turned me into a cat person.  I don't know how it happened!  But the transformation is complete.  I happened across this video this past week documenting what happened when researchers unleashed kittens on stressed out people!  (Someone find me one of these glass boxes, stat).
• My love of stationary and cards is pretty infamous amongst my group of friends; I get teased about it plenty but honestly, I have a pretty good sense of humor about it at this point.  Yes, I have a PaperSource problem and could probably take it down a notch when it comes to sending out cards to people with sentimental platitudes or ridiculous inside joke drawings.  No, I don't plan on changing my behavior or doing anything differently.  Anyway, I've been bugging out a little because I think I'm not going to send out Christmas cards this year; my friend Ryan sent this to me in response (I think, really as just torture.  Bad Ryan!)  There's some really funny ones here (I particularly like 5, 9, 10, and 24).

Party On, Guys

Y'all, few things are as satisfying as a pun as damn good as this one.

Verklempt

I've long waited for a moment where I could organically use "verklempt" to describe my personal state of being.  I blame this on my having watched way too much Coffee Talk as a child.

But I digress.

Today, I found out my favorite diner in New York City, the Edison Cafe, is closing its doors, likely within a month's time.  Naturally, the first thing I did was call my mother in a panic.  To most people, this reaction would probably seem weird (and maybe it is) but my mother understood it.  The Edison's a titan in the theatre district, an institution that's welcomed many of the theatre greats through its doors over the past twenty years.  Don't believe me?    Neil Simon literally wrote a play about it and Neil--he knows his stuff.

There's a part of me that's hugely sad to see such an important part of New York theatre history shut its doors; plus, I find something utterly charming and romantic about the rush and clanging noises of a great diner. More than that though, I'm sad to see this place go for personal reasons.  As an adult, and as a New Yorker, I've spent a lot of time trying to find places that really felt like mine.  Maybe it's watching too many episodes of Friends or Cheers (I know, again with the TV!) but I feel like I've been constantly on the lookout for places that made me feel comfortable, welcomE, or like they just fit.  The Edison was one of those places.

For plenty of people, this probably wouldn't make sense.  Walking into the Edison, it doesn't seem like much of anything special.  The theatre posters are hung a little crookedly, the signs are handwritten, the paint's yellowing a bit.  However, based on the uproar that erupted once the closing was announced, it's clear I'm not alone in feeling connected to the place.  For me, the Edison was far more than a hole in the wall with great matzo ball soup or a killer blintz; it's been a marker in so many of my important memories here.  It's one of the first places I came when I first visited NYC at age 19, it plays a prominent role in what's easily one of the happiest memories of my life and the moment I decided I needed to move here after college.  Every year when my mom is here, without fail, we make it an event to go here (and we always order the same thing; cheeseburger deluxe with a Diet Coke, no pickle).  We've sat at those tables, year after year, as life has zoomed by.  Our conversations have changed--from next semester's classes to 401Ks, from heartbreak to the pangs of a new love, from figuring out where the closest IKEA was to what couch was the best investment.  I've grown up inside these walls and while my life has changed so much in the seven years since I first came here, this place has stayed the same. There's been something really comforting about knowing that in a life that felt like it was moving and changing so quickly and a city that wouldn't stop doing that either, there was this one place that felt suspended in time, stable, safe.

I'll be sad to see the Edison go.  The girl in the left booth will have to find a new place to haunt.  Maybe its closing is a sign of the times.  Maybe it's another reminder that I have to stop making a home for myself in places, and instead need to make a home within myself, so that sense of safety and stability with go with me wherever I go, because things are going to keep changing.

Does Time Warner not understand...

...that when my cable and internet are down, I am forced to be left alone with my thoughts which is completely unacceptable.

I'm Lovin It: Things I'm Digging This Week V.6

• It's widely known amongst my group of friends that one of my favorite movies is You've Got Mail.  I honestly find it impossible to watch this movie and be in a bad mood.  I get Kathleen Kelly; I really do and I find the idea of falling in love with someone's words utterly charming.  I also have a pretty silly sense of humor, so you can imagine my delight when I read about a girl who responded to all Tinder messages with dialogue from the movie.  I really think someone out there needs to find the last guy in article and marry him.
• Kate turned me on to "Riptide" when she was in town last week and I listened to it on repeat for days; coupled with the fact that I generally think Taylor Swift is killing it these days, I love this cover that she did.  So many things I love collide!
• Sound of Music junkie that I am, I really appreciated this comedic rewrite of "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria."
• This Gone Girl inspired image; the sex scene from that movie is basically giving me night terrors but this cartoon makes me chuckle (as much as one can chuckle about a sociopath).
• I might be a little late to the party here, but thanks to my book club, I finally got around to reading Unbroken, the story of Louis Zamperini, the American Olympian who was stranded at sea for 46 days, only to be held prisoner in a gruesome POW camp.  There's a movie  adaptation coming out this Christmas but the real story is phenomenal, and I loved getting to learn more about real life Louis (he was a pretty precious old man).
• Consider this your yearly reminder to rewatch the Scream trilogy (Warning: Spoilers ahead!)
• Thanks, Zach, for saying what we all want to say to Justin Bieber.
• I think Malala is a tremendous and fascinating individual.  Here's a quick read on her and a TED Talk her father gave, which I loved.
• "Perfectionism doesn't protect us": I can't lie, I have been talking about perfectionism and vulnerability a lot with my therapist and how much I try to do everything just right to feel like I have some sense of security, stability, and control over my life.  I'm ruminating on this idea a lot so this video felt particularly timely.
• Minute 1:06.  100% chance of Puppy Hugs.  YES. If only it were true!

Whatever Happened to those Gilmore Girls?

NB: If you're not familiar with Gilmore Girls, you're really not going to get anything out of this post.  Never fear, there's plenty of other content to enjoy on this page.  Or better yet, go to damn Netflix and educate yourself.

I love TV.  I'm not even going to try to pretend that I'm above all that.  I can happily sit down and devour a book or I can lay in bed watching hour upon hour of television. Either one's perfectly lovely to me.

My best friend, Kate, was in town this past weekend to help me with some health related stuff, and while plenty of the weekend's conversation was heavy, our conversation turned to lighter fare, and as it somehow always does...Gilmore Girls.  Despite the fact that we have been quoting, debating, and analyzing this show since we met eight years ago, we still somehow have not managed to run out of things to talk about when it comes to our GG.  We started chatting through this recent article where someone outlined what they thought happened to the characters after the show ended.  Now, when you love characters as much as Kate and I love these ladies and gents, you care deeply about what happens to them but I have to say, I think this article got some things right, but we have a difference of opinion about a number of things.  So here's my vision for now it all worked out...


Lorelei and Paul Anka (the dog, not the person) showed up at Luke's the day after Rory left to pack up his stuff and move him into her place.  After some encouragement from Richard, she started serving as an independent consultant to innkeepers across New England; she and Sookie started holding workshops for people interested in opening their own inns across the country, making an effort to provide useful content and good snacks, two things the workshops they had attended sorely lacked.  She continued to have offers to franchise the Dragonfly or open another inn but ultimately didn't want a job that took her too far from home, especially now that she was finally learning how to use her oven and her stove for things other than sweater and clothes storage.  Plus, with the dawning of Netflix Instant, binge watching trash TV and movies had taken on all new meaning and someone had to make sure Luke caught up on his pop culture education.  Luke and Lorelei got married in early January 2009 when Rory was able to make it home for a long weekend before the inauguration.  The ceremony was small--outside, under the chuppah Luke built years ago--with April, T.J., Liz, Sookie, Jackson, Rory, Jess, and the Gilmores in attendance--followed by a celebration at the diner with the town afterwards.  It wasn't quite the winter Russian Romanov wedding Emily had envisioned but she was happy just to have been invited, since her daughter seemed to have a penchant for cancelling weddings or eloping, so this was a nice change of pace. Lorelei pretended she didn't hear her mother's comments under her breath because with snow and Rory and Luke there, it was quite simply the perfect day.

Try as he might, Luke couldn't convince Lorelei to go completely off of coffee while she was pregnant.  They named their son William after his dad and he bought a new Nationals baseball cap to celebrate the occasion, since he and Lorelei were in DC visiting Rory when she went into labor.  He looked forward to April's visits during the year and when she enrolled at Wesleyan near Stars Hollow, he converted the garage into a full fledged bedroom so she'd have a comfortable place to escape to away from campus.  He tried changing or altering the Luke's Diner menu several times but it rarely stuck.  The one edit that stayed?  A non-sequitur story Lorelai wrote about Paul Anka that went on the back of the menu.  Next to the hardware order Luke's dad wrote on the wall behind the counter are the carved names of all the Danes/Gilmore clan.

Rory struggled initially on the campaign trail; her first few months were lonely and long.  One of the youngest on the bus, she didn't immediately click with her colleagues and many of her fellow journalists were skeptical given her inexperience.  She patiently worked hard on her pieces, hoping her work could speak for itself, and spent her spare time writing home to Lorelei and Lane and sending postcards to Paris, Jess, and Lucy and Olivia.  After helping her more seasoned busmate Maggie when her cameraman was too drunk to focus the camera for a segment, she had an ally and from that point on, she felt more comfortable on the campaign trail .  The night Obama was elected, caught up in the high emotions of the night, she called Logan for the first time in years.  She visited him in San Francisco for a few days and while there were still sparks, it was clear that their lives were moving in different directions but she finally felt like she had some closure.  She joined the White House Press Corps and moved to D.C., loving that she'd finally found a place where people spoke as quickly as her and her mother. Her primary focus was work, not romance, and that was more than fine with her, as she took on additional side projects, networked, and went home whenever she could to visit her brother.  She went on a few disastrous dates which proved to be good fodder for her weekly calls with Lorelei.

True to his word, Doyle follows Paris wherever she goes, first to Boston for Harvard Medical School and then to Philadelphia for her cardiology residency. The Geller-McMasters finally settled in New York, the only city in the world that could possibly keep up with Paris' pace. Paris is quickly climbing the ranks at her hospital and having co-authored several important studies, is also becoming known in the wider medical community.  Doyle works for CNN and together, he and Paris live a highly overscheduled life as they work and raise their two children Wyatt and Eleanor.  Luckily, Nanny is with them to help.

Kirk and Lulu took over the dance studio once Miss Patty passed away and Cat Kirk remains a permanent fixture there, a favorite among all the students, friendly to all humans except Human Kirk. Lulu and Kirk still live with his mother, and Lulu makes a picnic basket for Kirk every year.

Though young Lane shuddered at the suggestion that she was well suited for a life in sales, adult Lane's accepted that she has a gift for it.  She co-owns the music shop with Sophie now and has found her niche.  She's got a knack for managing the books and really loves helping people discover and explore their love for music.  Kwan loves the bass and gets lessons from his Uncle Brian but Steve is more interested in school, church, and community service (and really doesn't get why his mom keeps harping on The Clash and The Jam).  Zack is mostly gone and away on tour so Mrs. Kim helps Lane raise the boys.  In a weird way, much like Rory and Lorelei, Lane and Mrs. Kim ended up being the great love of each others' lives.

Jess' publishing house in Philadelphia goes under and he takes that as an opportunity to move to Boston.  After self publishing his next novel online, he joined a larger publishing firm as a reader; while there's a part of him that feels like he's sold out, he also loves that he has the opportunity to get paid to read and decide what material makes it to his boss' desk to be considered for print.  He and Rory stay in touch to varying degrees for several years, reconnecting more significantly at Lorelai and Luke's wedding as they trade war stories from the dating scene and talk through book recommendations for each other.  When he's in D.C. for the launch of a new book, they grab drinks which turns into dinner which turns into a late night walking around D.C.'s Historic District.  From that point on, they're together.  A little older, a little wiser, and both more clear on who they are and how they fit together.

Dean moved out of Stars Hollow shortly after his second (third?) break up with Rory.  He found a number of different construction opportunities in Philadelphia and while his stint there was initially meant to be temporary, he ended up making the city his permanent home.  He lives in the suburbs with his wife Robin and by all accounts, their life is good.  She teaches preschool and cooks dinner from scratch every night and he coaches their son's pee wee baseball team.  He saw Paris once at a grocery store and hid behind the bread.

After a proper period of mourning for Chin-Chin, Michel got another Chow.  He named her Celine.  He thinks Celine (the dog and the person) are better than most other living beings.  He's still trying to reach his goal weight and is anxiously awaiting Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion's next tours.

Sookie and Lorelei joke that her third child, Sadie, is destined to be "the older woman" in William's life. Though the kids and the inn keep her busy she finds the time to write a cookbook after the inn's success creates increased interest in her recipes.  Writing the cookbook is one of the most anxiety inducing experiences of her life (she manages to throw out her back, burn her hand, and nearly chop of her fingers all while caught up in the stress storm of trying to create new recipes and decide on the right combination of dishes to include).  The book's a modest success until Oprah features it in her magazine, at which point it goes to the top of the charts.  Jackson doesn't have to worry about crunching numbers on his calculator anymore.  After the book's success, she's presented with the opportunity to open up a farm to table restaurant with Jackson and while they're both compelled by the idea, for now her dreams are closer to home.  She gets stopped on the street a lot for looking a lot like the woman who was in Bridesmaids.

Richard and Emily still have Friday night dinner with Lorelei but since William was born, they alternate hosting responsibilities with Lorelei and Luke.  These dinners are still full of plenty passive aggression but love too, and Richard and Emily are determined to be in their grandson's life from the start, even if it means accepting more diner food and take out into their lives.  Since they've spent more time in town, Emily's also found a friend in Taylor Doose, much to Luke's chagrin and Lorelei's amusement.  Just as he had with Rory, Richard brings books from his library over for April when she is in town and he still tries to take Luke and William to the club for golf.

Fin.

10 Things I Know to Be True

1.  That there are more seasons of Teen Mom 2 than there are of Happy Endings, Freaks and Geeks, Sports Night, Pushing Daisies, and Veronica Mars is a great tragedy.

2.  I am incapable of eating just a few Pringles.  Once you pop, the fun don't stop. Ditto Oreos.  Or candy corn. Or Ruffles.

3. That craft that I saved to my Pinterest board?  75% chance I won't actually follow through and do it.  However, there is a 90% chance that if I do, it will look absolutely NOTHING like the photo.

4. Beyonce didn't wake up like dis.  So it's okay that you don't either.

5.  Telling your friends "omg, my phone was on silent" on Friday night, when in reality you ignored it while you ate a cookie cake by yourself and watched Netflix is a totally valid life choice.  Them Breaking Bad episodes aren't going to watch themselves, girl.

6.  People who don't like golden retrievers are not to be trusted.  Back away.  Back sloooooooowly away. And ideally, go find a golden retriever to hug.

7.  Watching a lot of crime procedurals will come in handy one day, I swear.  Every day, we're just seconds away from livin a real life Clue.  I am ready.

8.  People may look at you oddly when you say "ella-ella--ella-ay-ay-ay" whenever they mention an umbrella.  You should do this anyway because it is awesome.

9.  Continuing to repeat "pageants aren't about beauty; they are scholarship programs!" is about as quaint and cute as my repeating "Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice" over and over again.  Both phrases are meaningless.

10. Nicholas Sparks films are all secretly the same.  Pretty people with symmetrical faces+North Carolina+Tragedy+Kissing in the rain=Love.  And you know what, I will pay full price for that nomsense EVERY. TIME.

I'm Lovin It: Things I'm Digging This Week V. 5

To everyone who DMed, emailed, and smoke signaled me (friends, family, and just general readers alike), thank you for checking up on me.  At some point, I'll share the things that have been going on behind the scenes because there have been some doozies.  But for now...we play!

• Let me join the chorus of people heralding Lena Dunham's Not That Kind of Girl.  Like I was telling Nisha, I think this book will only confirm whatever feeling you already have about her (negative or positive) but I really loved it. Her characters in Girls drive me mad but there's something about her as a person that I really love.  I love smart, brassy women who are a little off kilter; I try to surround myself with as many of them as possible because those women--the women that stick out, that don't always seem to quite fit, they're my kindred spirits. Lena happens to be one of those ladies and I'd be lying if my old soul and utterly neurotic self didn't hear a lot of myself in her words (before you freak out, Ma, no there are not any stories lurking in my past that have anything to do with me snorting cocaine or having sex with vacant surfer dudes.  I promise). With that said, peppered amongst some of her wilder stories are some real gems about the relationships we have with ourselves and others and the things that drive us and very few times have I felt like somebody actually "got" what it's like to live in an anxiety filled head all the time.
• Talk about dream job...literally!  I think one of the biggest and most important things we can do for students besides preparing them academically is ensuring that they leave school confident, resilient, and feeling empowered to take ownership of their lives, dreams, and choices.  The Future Project helps fund dream directors/coordinators at schools who are charged with helping students achieve their dreams and goals and building culture at the school.  No summary I give will do justice to just how awesome this is, so please give it a read.
• I won't even try to pretend that I know who should win the great Ben Affleck vs. Matt Damon debate (careful, it's heated over there y'all), but this week, Ben Affleck wins for his hilarious stories on Jimmy Fallon's show.  How he can manage to go from Frozen to baseball to kiddie sports in 5 minutes, I have no idea.
• Sarah Kay's Ted Talk, "If I Should Have a Daughter" had me in tears about two minutes in; it's not just about parenting; so much of her discussion is about creation and living openly and how both require immense vulnerability but reward you with true, deep connection.
• This acoustic version of "Somebody Loves You" by Betty Who.  I'm pretty much a sucker for any song broken down to its bare parts but this song really just does it for me, since the original version is also a favorite.
• I think the relationship between people and their pets is a powerful one and I deeply admire the people who raise therapy animals since I think the positive and soothing impact animals can have on humans is fascinating.  I loved this article about Iris Grace and her relationship with her therapy cat.
• I've been obsessed with the Kennedys since I was in the 6th grade and had to do a project on the 1960s and while I've always been partial to Bobby, you best believe I devoured these rare photos from JFK and Jackie's wedding.
• Look, I actually liked A Fault In Our Stars but whoever did the writing for ebola inspired SNL spoof is a genius.  
• I've been volunteering all year but more recently, I started working at some shelters, mostly serving low income and homeless individuals.  The days I'm there are fulfilling ones but they are also hard in their own way.  I find myself standing around sometimes, parsing out food and looking around at the dully painted walls, harsh lighting, and thinking to myself that no one should have a life that's devoid of beauty like that.  These places are not run down by any means but they're not warm and people deserve a warm place to come home to at the end of the day.  Beyond that, I find myself even more cognizant of homeless people on the streets, on the subway and it makes me deeply sad.  While I've found myself growing frustrated about the persistence of homelessness in my city and saddened by the realities of what these people's lives probably feel like, this kid actually did something about it.

I'm Lovin It: Things I'm Digging This Week V. 4

What day is it?

Honestly, I've had that thought multiple times in the past week and not in a I'm-so-drunk-I'm-in-a-nacho-and-vodka-induced-fugue, I'm talking, my-head-is-spinning-what-is-going-on-is-it-Tuesday-or-Wednesday kinda place.

I've been off the grid awhile as I've tried to get into the groove of my new job and while I've been anxious and stressed, that anxiety has been a great source of restlessness and restlessness is such a great foundation for good old fashioned pointless internet surfing.

• Like I have said before, I really love animals and animal videos and this video of a baby elephant blowing bubbles is just about the cutest thing I've seen.
• I've been thinking a lot about my schedule and my time recently because I've noticed some things getting out of balance; I LOVE this article that a friend shared via Facebook about productivity and really want to try some of the things they suggested.  While I do some of the things that the author writes about already (like scheduling specific tasks for certain times), I think the idea of more intentionally scheduling freetime and spending less time on "shallow" tasks is pretty provocative, especially since I feel like I've spent years of my life the past few years, solely answering emails.
• I love Emma Watson.  Not because she can pull off a pixie like few of us can, not because she was Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies.  I love her because she leads with her intelligence and because she is a tremendous example of what a modern feminist is.  Her speech at the UN about women's rights and feminism is a definite must watch (and is a great contribution to a larger conversation happening in the world about feminism and women's equality right now).
• I would love to work some place that had one of these initiatives.  Sing at work?  Yes please! (I already do this, but actually having this singing be welcomed is a whole other story...)
• This Olivia Locher art project, highlighting some of the more absurd laws on record in the US (no ice cream in your pocket in Alabama...that's a no no!) is interesting...and educational.  I now know that I should not paint my yard red should I ever move to Kentucky, which is too bad, because that was certainly on my bucket list.
• Like American history?  Like documentaries?  Well then you MUST watch Ken Burns' documentary on Franklin, Eleanor, and Teddy Roosevelt.  And lucky you, it's all streaming online here!
• In another ode to America, I give you the weird shit Miss America contestants shared about themselves during the talent portion.  I think my favorite is Miss Oklahoma's.  How exactly did she discover she could say the alphabet backwards?  How did she cultivate that skill? Any why?  So many questions.
• Consider this your weekly reminder that if you're not watching The Mindy Project, you really need to start watching The Mindy Project.

Applause For...

1.) The woman walking down Amsterdam with not one, not two, but three, parrots atop her shoulders.

2.) The clearance aisle of Duane Reade, featuring condoms about to expire as well as discontinued pregnancy tests.  I think I see where this is going.

3.) The little girl who walked up to her daddy very politely and said, "Papa, your shoes are very ugly." Man, sir, they start early here and you are clearly in for many years of that to come.

I'm Lovin It: Things I'm Digging This Week V. 3

I have returned!  Vacation is almost over (just a matter of hours at this point) and I wish I could go back.  Since I was off all week, I expected to have a ton of new internet gems to share but I actually wasn't on my computer or surfing the web most of my trip (in hindsight, this is actually a great thing but still weird). I do have a few fun things to share with y'all though so behold!

• I'm heading to the Paley Center tomorrow to see some early premieres of the new NBC shows but I've I've already managed to see A to Z, with my girl Cristin Milioti and I love it. You can watch the pilot On Demand or on their official site and I definitely recommend you do so!  I'm basically subtitling this show Tracy McConnell's Revenge. It's unapologetically romantic, quirky, and charming, and pretty much gives Cristin Milioti all the goofy, great material I wish HIMYM had.
• As expected, the HIMYM alternate ending leaked early online before the DVD set was released.  I've talked about HIMYM a fair amount here (and the blog post I wrote about the finale is, in fact, my most popular post with views in the triple digits!) so I was, not surprisingly, eager to see this. I'd link something here but literally every site this has been on keeps pulling it down so I implore you to do some googling and see if you can snag a view while you still can.  Overall, I liked this version better (in that we have none of this Robin-Ted nonsense and they touch on all the twists life takes to get us to our ultimate path) though there is a little part of me that feels like this version is a little stale.  I'm curious to hear others' opinions though!
• My best friend Grace insists that we get grocery store cakes whenever I visit (I'm sure there's some tradition or reason for this dating back to college or something but I certainly can't remember it).  This reminded me to check out Cake Wrecks, one of my absolute favorite websites that I haven't read in some time.
• I love hugs and because I'm also apparently five, I love animals doing cute things so by that logic, I really love animals giving hugs (though the one with the snake is kinda making me nervous).
• I've been thinking a lot about social media and my presence on it and a friend passed along this article about Facebook Likes.  Facebook Likes/Instagrams are a tricky thing; we all want to share and be affirmed but at what point do these Likes cease to have meaning?  Why do we impose such a heavy meaning on them in the first place?  If someone doesn't like your photo, is that a sign of lack of affection?  Was your experience lessened?  (I have a friend who will take down any Instagram photo that gets less than 11 likes in 2 hours so really...what's the real reason we're posting these things?)  Is Facebook or Instagram really helping us feel more connected to one another or are we just stockpiling more surface level relationships? Interesting conversation topic for the future, I think.
• More Beyonce!  That Blu Ivy, she kills me.  Skip to the last 40 seconds for extra cuteness.
• Oddly enough, I was reading Joan Rivers' recent book on my flight home--the day before she checked into the hospital.  I grew up watching Joan Rivers on Fashion Police and what I would give to be famous and have her tell me my dress was hideous.  She was honest and brave and brutally funny and she'll be deeply missed.  If you're not familiar with her work, click on the Time article above or take a gander at some of her best lines.

Applause For...

-The girl pumping up her friend while catching up at Magnolia Bakery.  I quote: "Girl, it sounds like you just need to dance it out.  JUST. DANCE. IT. OUT." I hope you both got to dance it out together.

-The guy on 8th Avenue who "[didn't] care if he got lucky that night.  [He] just wanted to get a little drunk and eat some fried chicken." Thanks for the honesty, dude.  I'm glad you're so clear on your intentions.

-The girl outside Shake Shack with her friend, who appeared to quietly listen to her friend as she recounted a recent fight with her boyfriend, but when her friend paused to ask her her opinion on the situation drolly said, "Sorry, I got bored by your story and was trying to decide if I wanted cheese fries or a malt."  I think a lot of us have been there...but you actually admitted it.

Broads I'd Like to Have a Drink With: Fictional Edition

As a follow up to my last post, I wanted to talk through some of my favorite fictional women with whom I'd love to grab a drink.  The choices here were difficult but I've narrowed it down to a few of my favorite broads.  Who's making your invite list?

Broad: Leslie Knope
Drink of Choice: Definitely NOT Snakejuice.  Probably the most reasonably priced pinot noir on the menu.  Leslie doesn't need it to be fancy and neither do I.  We probably shouldn't overdo it, since neither of us really handles our alcohol well.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Leslie and I share a lot in common--an appreciation for Eleanor Roosevelt and mac and cheese pizza, an incredible love for planning, binders, and made up festive holidays, and a deep (and sometimes overwhelming) investment in our friends.  Despite roadblocks and disappointments, she continues to see the world as brimming with possibility and always fights the good fight.  Plus, this is a woman who carries emergency s'more rations in her car.  That's a woman you wanna hang with, so sign me up for a night of drinking and working on our dream boards.



Broad: C.J. Craig
Drink of Choice: a Grasshopper
Why She Snagged an Invite: C.J., White House Press Secretary and Chief of Staff extraordinaire, plays to win and with her sharp brain (have you heard her arguments against gun control?) and superb wit that's both high and low brow, she's the perfect happy hour (or really any hour) companion.  Additionally, while we're both highly capable and strong in our professional lives, we fumble through our personal ones whether it's dealing with our families or the men in our lives, and it'd be nice to swap notes.

Broad: Liz Lemon
Drink of Choice: Her signature drink "Funky Juice"--white wine, ice cubes, and Sprite, which to be honest, doesn't sound all that bad.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Liz, super hero and role model to girl nerds everywhere, is right up my ally in terms of her approach to nightlife.
We'd go to a bar and talk about Star Wars, our crazy coworkers, and Oprah, complain about the youths surrounding us, order some mozzarella sticks and be home at a reasonable hour to work on our night cheese and watch a Designing Women rerun. Done.  WINNING (or Lizzing) on all fronts.





Broad: Kathleen Kelly
Drink of Choice: A cappuccino, preferably from Cafe Lalo.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Kathleen loves reading and there, in my opinion, are few better ways to spend a few hours than talking about the books that meant the most to us growing up.  I imagine we'd compare the different Pride and Prejudice movies and retire back to one of our Upper West Side apartments afterwards to craft homemade bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils.





Broad: Hermione Granger
Drink of choice: Butterbeer, duh.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Almost everywhere she goes, Hermione is the smartest one in the room and there are few things she can't do if she puts her mind to it (besides being quiet that is).  She's a woman who's prepared for almost anything that comes across her path (remember that damn handbag in Hallows?) and furthermore, she's deeply compassionate.  I'm sure she'd get filled with righteous indignation and give me a lecture at some point but honestly, I'd probably deserve it.

Broads: Veronica Mars and Olivia Benson
Drink of choice: a nice IPA
Why They Snagged Invites: I like smart, strong, principled women with a bit of an edge to them.  And with these two next to me at the bar, I sure as hell won't get hassled.  And hell, if we're feeling fancy, maybe we'll have Jessica Fletcher join us too--just a trio of mystery solving ladies.

Broad: Megan from Bridesmaids
Drink of Choice: Some shots of Fireball. Or let's be honest, many shots of Fireball.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Megan's the best character in Bridesmaids hands down.  She lives a bullshit free life and makes no apologies for herself.  She's a woman who loves herself and her life and has no qualms about telling you when you need to get your act together and "fight for your shitty life."  I've probably needed that advice more times than I can count and I'd be excited to spend a raucous evening with someone like that...and maybe if I get her drunk enough, she'll tell me where all the nukes are.

Broad: Peggy Olson
Drink of choice: a stiff Manhattan
Why She Snagged an Invite:  She's disciplined, she's intelligent, and hell, she "leaned in" decades before that shit was even a thing.  I'd like to hole up with her for awhile and learn her secrets.

Broad: Martha Jones
Drink of Choice: pint of Guinness
Why She Snagged an Invite: I like to surround myself with people I deeply respect and Martha fits this bill perfectly.  Martha is probably one of the less popular companions in the Doctor Who fandom but I think she's significantly underrated.  Prior to meeting the Doctor, she has a full life, complete with a successful career and a strong relationship with her family, one that she happily returns to when she decides that her travels with the Doctor are over. She saves him--more than one mind you--and takes initiative to get them out of scrapes, rather than waiting for him to call the shots.  And finally, when the Doctor doesn't return her romantic feelings, she doesn't think any less of herself, and peacefully leaves, moving on to another phase of her life.  She's defined the least as a person by the Doctor (particularly when we compare her to any other companion he's ever had) and I respect that she's a woman who can take care of herself and create a life that will fulfill her.  Teach me your ways, Martha!

Broads I'd Like to Have a Drink With

Here I am at the end of a very long work week, sipping some Pinot and trying to get my life in order.  I often think about who I'd like to invite to dinner if given the opportunity, so here's who I'd love to snag a drink with if I could.  Note: I may be a little cranky like Paul Giamatti in Sideways but don't get it twisted, I'm not an alcohol expert, so don't go judging these choices too much.

Broad: Hillary Clinton
Drink of Choice: A straightforward lager.  Because Hillary don't play.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Because she's Hillary freaking Clinton.  Because she should be our next President. Because we could talk about healthcare and Benghazi and women's rights. Because our conversation would absolutely pass the Bechdel test as her marriage to Bill Clinton is the least interesting thing about her.





Broad: Dolly Parton

Drink of Choice: Mint Julep. Tiny but can pack quite a punch, just like DP.
Why She Snagged an Invite: The woman literally has an entire theme park built in her honor and is a savvy businesswoman with a helluva head of hair.  I'll buy her a drink.  And some fried chicken.  And anything else she damn well pleases.

Broad: Mindy Kaling
Drink of Choice: A nice prosecco.  Dry and effervescent, just like Mindy.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Mindy Kaling is my spirit animal; she's smart and she likes talking about girly things and neither interest takes away from the other.  Plus, she'd totally be up for extending our drink date with a visit to a cupcake place.

Broad: Emma Thompson
Drink of Choice: Irish Whiskey
Why She Snagged an Invite: The woman knows her literature.  And she calls bullshit when she sees it.  And have you seen this?  This lady is fun.










Broad: Brene Brown
Drink of Choice: Pinot Grigio.  As unpretentious as they come.
Why She Snagged an Invite: Because drinking alcohol usually means we're going to talk about feelings.  And nobody quite does feelings like vulnerability researcher Brene.









Broad: Kris Kardashian
Drink of Choice: Vodka Martini
Why She Snagged an Invite: Because by inviting KSquared to this, I could live out my fantasy of throwing a drink in someone's face and saying "how dare you."

Haaaaaave You Watched How I Met Your Mother?

How I Met Your Mother's finale was this past Monday; I've had countless people email, text, direct message, and smoke signal me for my thoughts and honestly, I thought it was better--and quite frankly easier--for me to process and share this way.  I know this blog was originally designed for shorter, quirkier pieces but screw it, it's my blog and I'll write what I want to (and if you are reading that to the tune of "It's My Party, I Can Cry if I Want To," congrats; you're absolutely winning at life).

How I Met Your Mother has been a pretty big part of my life the last 9 years.  Some people gravitate towards shows that represent something glamorous, or sinister, or something far removed from their own everyday life (unless, of course your everyday life is chock-full of seducing and impeaching presidents or suckling young dragons).  I've never quite been like that; I've always loved the characters that felt familiar; I recognized Liz Lemon's awkwardness, Leslie Knope's ambition, and yes, as someone who's often looked out for signs from the universe about a greater plan at play, I immediately connected with Ted's sentimentalism, his romanticism, and his belief in destiny (and clearly, based on the length of this post, his inability to be succinct pretty much...ever).

I approached this past Monday's finale with a lot of excitement, coupled with even more trepidation and that morning when my mom texted me, "I hope they're kind to Ted," I knew what she meant.  Ted's a stand-in for a lot of us; he makes mistakes (see: red cowboy boots and everything pertaining to Zoey), he shows up for his friends, and most importantly, he has the audacity to believe in soulmates, even when so many things are knocking him down.  We live in a culture rife with casual hookups and cynicism but deep down, I think there are a lot of us that would like to believe in the life affirming prospect of true love and Ted does so openly.  It's honorable--and admirable--to operate with that much hope because sometimes, when the cards are down and your heart is broken, that's all  you really have--a belief that somehow this is all part of the plan and that happy endings are, in fact, possible.  You wanted good things to happen for Ted and for him to finally get his happy ending after all he endured because you wanted the same thing for yourself.  You wanted to believe in the power and promise of the yellow umbrella.

Besides its significant romantic tone, HIMYM had a lot to say about the power of friendship and platonic love, how it shifts and changes its form but can still remain strong.  Certainly, some friends are only meant to be in your life "for a season or two" but some aren't; some friendships are built to last and while they may change their shape or give you different things than they once did, they can still be a substantial force in your life.  Growing up does not always have to equal growing apart and some people fit into your life just as well sitting next to you in a bar as they do sitting next to you at Thanksgiving dinner.  The show spoke to the power of transformation--how our goals, priorities, and desires can change and even moreso, how our inner cores can.  We saw that happen with Barney and Robin, as they both grew more into themselves and consequently, grew closer together.  Sometimes, the best things in life come from us reaching out and holding on to them, while others come simply when we get out of our own way.

Which brings me to Monday.

For me, the finale got it wrong.  So wrong.  And not because they spent a small fortune on outfitting Cobie Smulders in the worst wigs possible.  Not because they didn't solve the mystery of the pineapple. Not even because the Mother died at the end.  But because its hour essentially dismantled the very foundation HIMYM has built over the years.  For a show centered so much on love, optimism, and personal growth, it felt thoroughly devoid of most of those things.  After spending an entire season on their wedding weekend--and seasons beyond that watching Barney and Robin slowly get themselves to a place where they were ready to accept the love the other had to offer--they broke up minutes into the finale, their relationship mere collateral damage, a victim of Robin's steel like focus on her career and Barney's selfishness.  Wait...didn't we deal with this shit already?  And did the conclusion of their relationship really just boil down to a final drunken romp?  That was legen-wait for it--nope. That was ridiculous.  Then the show rubbed salt in our wounds as we saw both characters regress, Robin once again establishing emotional distance from the people around her, diminishing the complexity we've seen from her over the years and Barney, drowning himself in booze, his fingers practically blistering from filling up the pages of Playbook II.  What--can love not truly be transformative?  Is the only true redemptive love that which comes from a child? (And what a cruel irony that a child--the one thing Robin could never give him--is the thing that brought Barney back to life).

We saw the gang break apart--fractured by breakups, distanced by time and responsibilities. But more infuriating was the way we handled the Mother-Ted-Robin storyline, concluding a 9 year saga of blue French horns and yellow umbrellas with what felt like a misguided, disrespectful end.  Several weeks ago, I commented to someone that I would fall apart if the Mother died and burn New York to the ground (in case you haven't noticed, when I'm not being really saccharine, I can get a little overdramatic; worst case scenario is when I am dramatically saccharine).  By the time the show aired, I'd actually come to terms with this potential ending.  What I find completely devastating though is Ted's return to Robin, a woman who consistently didn't choose him and only wanted him when she couldn't have him, and worse still was the revelation that this entire story was an ode to Robin, as Ted considered pursuing her again after the Mother's death.  It undermined what we saw Tracy and Ted have, making her seem like a second choice instead of the choice and felt overwhelmingly pedantic to fans of the show who bemoaned that Aunt Robin could never be the Mother.

The choice to reunite Ted and Robin at the end felt misguided and tone deaf; thematically, it provided a nice parallel to a similar scene earlier in the show but the romance for me no longer rang true.  Carter and Craig planned this ending years ago but guess what? The show transformed after that.  Robin and Barney were developed in a way where they made more sense than Ted and Robin ever did and the chemistry Ted and Tracy shared was stronger than anything we've seen from the other core couples (yes, even Lilypad and Marshmallow).  It felt like Ted was going backwards. Plus...really?  What teen is talking to her dad about him having the hots for her aunt?  That's weird. And what about the power of the yellow umbrella?  Are we really back at this french horn shit again?

I've heard argument after argument: "Carter and Craig made it real, life has unexpected twists and turns, happiness is transitory, lots of people die and divorce, life doesn't turn out how we plan, people grow apart."  I get it.  Believe me, I do.  I watched my mom lose the love of her life when she was not much younger than Ted; I've had my own hopes dashed time and time again.  I don't need more evidence or reminders that life is messy and can disappoint us.  Quite frankly, I've seen enough of that.  I need to believe that sometimes happy endings do exist, that some love is so great that it's as if the entire universe conspired to bring two people together.  That there's a big point to all the confusion and pain we endure to get to where we finally need to be.  That sometimes, love just wins, simple as that.  HIMYM, you let me down.  I wanted better for Ted.  I want better for myself.

Admittedly, Monday night and Tuesday morning, I was pretty close to burning New York to the ground (okay, not really, but I did cry a lot on a train and feverishly type text messages to my best friend that followed the lines of "Where's my Ted?" and "I'm dying inside. Ted Mosby is a jerk").  A few days out, I'm not quite there anymore.  I still feel disappointed and betrayed and I still prefer to remember Tracy and Ted meeting, falling in love, and living happily ever after. End of story. End scene.

For now though, all of you who felt similar things about the finale, who saw themselves in Ted or Tracy or Barney or Robin and were disappointed by how it shook out, let's make an agreement. Let's take a page from HIMYM but rewrite a better ending for ourselves.  Let's right the wrongs we saw.  Let's avoid slipping back into old habits when things don't work out like Barney did; let's follow our heart and never second guess our decisions like Robin; let's fight like hell for our front porch future, like Lily.  And finally and most importantly, let's still believe in the power and magic of the yellow umbrella--that our soulmate, the person who will press reset on our life, is just around the corner and waiting for us to be ready for them, and that we can get our full, complete happy ending.

What do you say, friends--challenge accepted?